Is Facebook, like, the Culprit?

A New York Times article (Sunday, November 28) described the rigorous physical aspects of Natalie Portman's role in her newest film "Black Swan." It also contained seven examples of Ms. Portman and others using "like" in very distressing ways.

For us at Positively Writing, reading repeated inappropriate uses of "like" both astounds and appalls us. And we wonder if FB's ubiquitous "Like" button is the insidious enabler of this absurd usage. After all, with "Like" now top of mind, dropping it randomly into otherwise acceptable discourse seems logical . . . even predictable.

But what's most troubling is this: "Like" now serves as a "vagueness indicator," among other things. Perhaps another way to describe it is a "laziness" indicator. And Positively Writing readers very likely understand the deep aversion we have to anything approaching lazy.

People now use "like" to suggest that what they are about to say is only in the neighborhood of what they want to say. "It's close to this, but not really this" is what "like" is flagging for us. So we're giving ourselves permission to be vague. And we're simultaneously announcing "I'm not going to make my best effort to communicate precisely here; saying something "like" what I really want to say is good enough. You figure it out."

Hmm. You figure it out indeed. Onus now on you, listener, not on me, even if I'm delivering the message. A close relative of "like," also prominent in the NYT piece, is "kind of." As used there, it also adds a vagueness that completely quashes the communication. Ms. Portman says " . . . my body was KIND OF in emergency mode." So evidently we have "kind of" an emergency here. Well, do we have one or not? This isn't someone telling us it's kind of sunny outside; this person is trying to indicate a very serious condition . . . but then tells us that maybe it is an emergency, or maybe . . . 

Ugh.

Guys, please "Like" everyone you see fit to like on Facebook. Just don't inject "like" into your language, whether as a hedge, a pause, a filler, or, like, whatever. It doesn't help us understand you. And it causes us to question how much effort you are making to connect with us . . . especially when we don't have a "Like" button to show us the way.